Tuesday, January 31, 2017


Tomorrow's already February.
(also, the first time ever not having cuti on Hari Wilayah/Kakak's birthday - she's 22 this year!)

Just got back from Melbourne, 8 hours ago.
It was fun alhamdulillah, a whole lot of memories and reigniting love and harmony in the family.

I hate talking about this again and again - but I need to let this one off.
I think by now it is safe to say that I just can't be happy with my matriks life. Believe me, I've tried. I got along well with my roommates and classmates, joking and fooling around, I took part in programmes and activities, I did (try to) my best in the studies - but still, I'm totally counting for the day this finally ends.

Of course, I am not depressed, I am still coping well but I am just so so so tired. Especially now in semester 2; I don't know, it is as if I used up all my determination getting through semester 1, and I just don't have the feels to continue this battle anymore. Which is worrying, because I need to end this well too. I know some people scoff at this, but just because I did well in my exams and everything doesn't mean things are all fine and dandy over here.

I have little spirit to hold on any longer, my grip is loosening. But there's three months more to go, 9/5/2017 is the golden date. I'm not feeling up to it anymore, but I cannot give up now, can I ? Not now.

What to do - just go on lah, tell myself again and again that it's gonna be fine, sikit je lagi, sikit je lagi.